Last week we received quite a few calls regarding adoption searches and reunions. This is a frustrating segment of the private investigative business, as leads are usually thin and relevant information almost non-existent.
Still our staff tries to prevail under some very difficult circumstances. They know we are often the last hope for our client.
The holidays often bring an increase in inquiries for both for adoption searches and locating friends and family members who have become disconnected. Early in my career, I was very confident of our staff’s talent and the data contained in our own state-of-the-art in-house computer system. Over three decades ago I coined the phrase If we can’t find them, they won’t be found. That phrase is still true both in simply locates and tough adoption searches.
This week I asked my main investigator in charge of adoption searches to write her feelings down about the events of this past week. Here is what she summarized:
First there was stunned silence. Then the quivering voice. And between the tears, there were declarations that he, his wife and grown children, in succession, had looked for the adoptee for 40 years. They didn’t know about adoption searchers, mutual registries, confidential intermediaries or even hiring a private investigator. They asked their priest. He said that the adoptee would have to find them. Adoption records were lock shut so they waited and hoped.
The adoptee came to me with little more than her birth date and place of birth. With that, I was able to identify her biological parents and locate each of them. This birth father received his daughter with a great longing for reconnection. The birth mother was tentative. So, you have to be mindful that after many years and a painful separation, often at a young age, not every birth parent is ready for contact.
Birth mothers fathers and biological family-brothers, sisters, nephews, nieces, aunts and uncles, have also sought our help to find the relative who was relinquished for adoption. No matter how long ago your loved one was born, they can be found. Not always, but we will give you an honest evaluation of the possibilities before you pay any of your hard-earned money.
It’s possible to find family members separated by adoption. Sometimes it happens within days. Other times, depending on how much is known about the sought after person and where they were born, it can take weeks. But that person may be waiting, not knowing that there’s the possibility (or even that it’s legal) for them to initiate a search. They could be hoping that you’ll reach out to them.
I just finished reading Jump by Steve Harvey. The subtitle accurately describes the content of the book and the message Mr. Harvey is trying to get across to his readers: Take the leap of faith to achieve your life of abundance.
If your heart is aching and your mind is racing with the void of someone not being in your life, don’t stand on the sidelines. Get in the game. Find a world-class investigative agency that knows their stuff and who can bring some finality into the locating those involved long ago in the adoption process. We wish you good hunting.