Discussions over the past couple of years about politics, COVID testing, and vaccine mandates have become so strained and highly charged; I personally know of many fractured friendships and family splits over these matters. To a private investigator, this is a sad side effect to the pandemic. There is nothing more painful than a lost or disconnected family member. I know this from nearly 50 years of vast experience locating people.
Since the Covid-19 pandemic, we have seen a notable increase in the number of clients searching for friends and family members, to determine how they are doing in these difficult times. A large segment of these searches are parents searching for their adult children, some who may have slipped out of contact given lock-downs and stay-at-home orders; some who have been estranged for many years. A core part of our business also remains serving clients seeking children given up for adoption decades before.
There is a wealth of information out there, and I’d like to offer some good, free suggestions to start. Go to 888USUNITE.com or call the toll-free number. We started this database decades ago, and it’s one of the world’s largest sources of information, complete with articles on how to find your adult children. Secondly, check out my website InvestigatorConfidential.com. Chapter Two of my first book is reprinted in full there, and it is packed with tips on how to find a missing person.
Now… if neither of these free resources prove helpful enough, consider calling in a private investigator. Martin Investigative Services, the company I founded, is a very transparent agency. We send you one short email spelling out what we’re going to do, how long it will take, the results you can expect, and what it’s going to cost. Our locate charge is a flat-rate fee of $495.00. The results come back in 24 hours. Parents generally know birth name, social security number, and at least some former addresses… we only need one of these if the name is common.
Frankly, finding a person is not that difficult for any one of the 100,000+ private eyes in America. Step one is usually (note I say usually) the easy part. Our success locate rate is about 98%, though when dealing with individuals with drugs, alcohol, mental illness or prison, the rate falls precipitously. But let’s say you find the missing person yourself or hire one of the far too many investigators who will hand over a name, number and address and say thank you and good-bye. Because given a separation that was probably at least at the start somewhat intentional, what do you do now?
The worst thing parents or concerned family members can do is to try to put this reunion together on the spot, where mom and/or dad or both show up to see their adult child. They absolutely need a therapist, a clergy member, or someone like me – just a disinterested third party who will not get caught up in heat of old accusations, hurt feelings or arguments at what could be a very fraught reunion. I like to use my network of former federal agents all around the country to make the first approach for a meeting request, and then facilitate the first reunion. This is the difference: the art of interview and interrogation. You will definitely appreciate someone with these skills.
I had a great interview a couple of years ago with woman named Tina Gilbertson, founder of reconnectionclub.com an online resource for parents of estranged adult children. You may consider joining her service; the fees are minimal, and the site has great content with leading experts. We both have the same goal: to reunite families. It isn’t always easy and being found doesn’t guarantee the result you want. Still, Tina and I agree it is a goal well worth fighting for. I have had countless doors slammed in my face; I have also been a guest at joyous reunited family gatherings. I encourage you to never give up… on finding the missing person or reaching out appropriately more than once if rebuffed. You may listen to the entire interview here.
If you have any questions or wish any matter clarified, please call our toll-free number at 800.577.1080 and one of our staff will be pleased to speak with you.