Investigating a cheating spouse may seem like work for the shady, but it is one of the most sought-after services that private investigators provide.
Every year, we see hundreds of suspicious spouses that simply want us to find out what they already suspect and provide them with proof either way.
Here’s how everything works on these cases.
A few typical signs that a spouse might be cheating
These cases always begin with a suspicion or theory based on a few tell-tale signs, which might include:
- He/She has been working late, but doesn’t seem at all tired or stressed when they finally comes home.
- He/She is going away on business trips even though it’s the slow time of year for their company.
- He/She lacks energy for sex at times when they used to always hound you for it.
- He/She comes home smelling better than when they left in the morning.
See our full list of common signs that your spouse may be cheating: 20 Ways To Know If Your Partner Is Cheating, and if you want to go into more detail, I have an entire chapter dedicated to the subject of cheating spouses in my book If You Only Knew…, which is now online for free at InvestigatorConfidential.com.
Most of the time, the spouse already knows
Before we even get the first phone call, I would estimate that in about 95% of these cases, the spouse already knows their partner is cheating. They simply want the proof and finality.
Their suspicions are usually correct. I know from experience that 97% of the time, my investigators will catch the alleged perpetrator cheating.
It’s usually women that hire us
In about 80% of these cases, we are hired by the wife.
We prefer to meet in person with the wife to discuss the case, what she wants us to do and what we can do. Same goes for the guys.
At this point, we collect details about the suspected spouse’s character and alleged behavioral patterns to help the investigation.
We’re in the business of providing proof, no matter what that is. And it’s important to prepare the client at this point to expect and prepare for the truth and the emotional finality and clarity it can bring.
Cheating spouses liaison at a time when he is confident that you won’t cross paths.
If you suspect your spouse might be stealing assets in addition to having a fling, your investigator needs to know. All cases need, at a minimum, a basic asset search.
Maybe your disloyal spouse wants to take the money and run off with a lover. He may be spying on you from afar, so the house might need a bug sweep to find any devices used for listening or watching. This happens in about 16% of our cases. Please review are totally dedicated website to this subject matter at www.bugsweepteam.com. There are many pretenders is this regard who wave a magic wand around and give you a false of security. Be careful who you select to perform your sweep.
And on that point, don’t spy on him with any device that captures audio or video. This is a blatant privacy violation and a felony, plus it will give your spouse legal leverage against you.
The suppression of emotion
One of the toughest things for a person who starts investigating a cheating spouse is suppressing emotions.
When you’ve been cheated on and lied to after you’ve been loyal and devoted, it’s natural to feel angry and even want revenge. But don’t let your emotions get the better of you. A private investigator shares your interest in the case but without the emotional intensity you are feeling as a result of being hurt and betrayed.
Court-admissible evidence is gathered
Our investigators have decades of experience and it does not take long to catch guilty spouses in the act. Evidence is gathered with one very critical guideline: The evidence has to be collected in a court-admissible manner. This can make all the difference in divorce proceedings.
The delivery of the truth
In the end, we meet with the client and deliver all evidence to the client, including all SD cards and evidence obtained. This is the client’s evidence to do with as they please.
We never keep a copy of anything.
We assist with the next steps as well, be it finding a good counselor, divorce lawyer or other guidance.
In the end, the truth usually sets our clients free. While it hurts in the short-term, when we meet up with our clients years later we most often find that they are stronger, more confident and successful. They often remarry to someone that actually cares about them.