We are right in the beginning of that special time of year… when people file for divorce.
The season generally runs from right after Super Bowl Sunday to the week before Thanksgiving. During the holiday season (generally from Thanksgiving through the New Year) most people just try to get through those days with minimal confrontations and aggravation.
During the next eight plus months, our office will be called by clients looking for guidance in the their family law matter. This could be a separation, irreconcilable differences, child custody or division of assets.
There is one decision that you have total control over and it will be by far the most important in this process and for the rest of your life.
We catch 97% of the spouses or significant others we follow, and the numbers for what happens next are fairly consistent:
When the husband is found cheating, about 33% of the women want to get divorced, 33% agree to counseling and 33% don’t know what to do.
On the other hand, when the wife is found cheating, 99.9% of the men want to get divorced.
Shortly after attorneys are retained and spouses are served, most people quickly surmise they are swimming in the quicksand of the family law court system. Many feel violated and abused, like victims of an unfair and uncaring court system.
Many times their assessment and analysis is correct.
Incompetent attorneys, outrageous fees, callous and going-through-the-motions judges, knucklehead forensic accounts, amateurish 730 evaluators and incompetent private investigators often seem to dominate the process.
Make no mistake, life-changing decisions for you and your family will be made during this process. So what can one do to avoid the pitfalls of this often agonizing process?
There are many decisions that are going to be made for you during the hearings that you can’t control. The most obvious is the judge that is assigned to adjudicate your case. The aggressiveness and competency of your spouse’s attorney. The honesty of your spouse in producing documents and legitimate numbers regarding salary and assets.
There is one decision that you have total control over and it will be by far the most important in this process and for the rest of your life: The number one decision is the attorney you select to represent you in this process. Number two and the rest of the decisions are not even a close second.
If you select a gladiator to represent you, then the chance of being a “victim” in this process is significantly reduced, if not eliminated.
It doesn’t matter who your spouse retains, it only matter who you select.
Many folks ask their hairdresser, Aunt Diane, yoga instructor, best friend or someone they know who has recently been divorced for an attorney referral. This generally has a horrible outcome and very negative consequences.
Here are two posts I have recently written that I recommend reading thoroughly. If you care about your sanity, children, or money – and you don’t want to be a “victim” of the courts – then take great heed of the content.
First, for those living anywhere in the United States, check out the post Thoughts on ‘Marriage Story’ And How To Choose a Divorce Attorney.
Second, for those living in Orange County California read the post above first, then follow that up with The Top 10 Family Law/Divorce Attorneys In Orange County.