As professional private investigators, one of the many services we provide is locating people. These cases run the gamut from missing persons to friends to lost loves to teen runaways that have gone off their medication and fled the country to Mexico. We also frequently help many adults that were adopted as children, and now want find their birth parents.
These clients are primarily women but we see men from time to time. Each of these clients give slightly different reasons for wanting to find birth parents, but here are some of the commonalities:
Many are simply curious about who their birth parents are and what they are like. They have a need to know more about their birth parents and want to know many of the little things about them, – personality traits, likes and dislikes, and similar things.
They may also want to know the reason behind the adoption. Even if the adopted child, now an adult, grew up in a good home with loving adoptive parents, there is always that question of why their birth parents had to give them up in the first place. This can be a difficult question for the birth parents to answer, and that answer might be difficult for the adoptee to hear.
Health and genetics
A large number of adopted adults will want to learn more about the medical history of their birth parents and their other relatives, including history of cancer, heart disease, mental illness, and more. This is important for their health, as well as the health of any children they have in the future, or currently.
Many are interested in extended family – such as other siblings, cousins, grandparents and more.
Being ready for reality
An adopted person seeking out his or her birth parents needs to be ready to accept reality. In some cases, the birth parents might not want to meet at all.
It is often better to have some type of buffer between the adopted and the birth parents in the beginning. An investigator who finds the parents can then act as the intermediary to make sure both parties really do want to meet. The meetings can be awkward, and they may not hold all of the answers you hoped for, so you have to be ready for this possibility.
There are many first-rate private investigators that can help you located adopted children and birth parents. There is one rule that we impose that most don’t. This is clearly spelled out to all clients before they retain our services. In the event that the adopted child does not want to meet his/her birth parents or the birth parents do not want to meet their off-spring, then we will not reveal their identity, address or phone information. This has never happened in the hundreds of cases we have worked but it has often been very close to not obtaining the approval of one side or the other.
Please make sure you ask what the philosophy is of your private investigator before you spend your money. Determine if they have the interview and interrogation skills along with the ability to express the psychological need that one side may have to meet the other.
Always temper your expectations and keep them real and rational. It helps to alleviate disappointment.
Hiring an investigator
When you want to find your birth parents, the easiest way to do that is by hiring a world-class private investigator and/or an adoption specialist. They often have access to more records than you can find on your own. Also, the key reason is that you can get more information about the people they find before initiating any contact at all. This is very helpful to our client base to determine whether or not they want to go through with the meeting. In some cases, the birth parents are so dysfunctional and broken that meeting them would likely only cause problems.
Call or email us today for a free consultation, and we can talk more about what’s involved with finding birth parents.